Where It Hurts
by angelsinstead
Summary: A tragic accident has left the people of Salem in deep mourning. As they struggle to come to terms with loss of their loved one, will they find a miraculous gift despite all their heartbreak? Main characters- Bo and Billie Other couples include - Justin and Hope & Steve and Kayla
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

She stepped out of the car and out into the frigid, evening air. It was December 21st- the first day of winter. It was a dark, dismal, and dying day in the Midwest.

The sky was beginning to blacken. She was all alone, walking in the cemetery. While most folks she knew were out Christmas shopping, having fun, spending time with family and friends, or attending holiday parties, she wasn't. Her steps lead her to the grave of her beloved child.

Her hands trembled as she reached out with a gloved hand, tracing the letters upon the granite stone. "It shouldn't be this way," she whispered as she knelt on the cold and fragile grass of her child's grave. "You shouldn't have died."

Red roses dropped from her hand, falling before the stone onto the earth, just as the tears fell from her sorrowed eyes. So many tears shed, but they wouldn't bring her child back. "I'd do anything... ANYTHING to have you back," the woman murmured.

But she knew it wouldn't happen. She'd never see her child again. And deep down, she knew it was all her fault. "We shouldn't have had that fight. We shouldn't have argued. I shouldn't have let you go to that party," she quietly sobbed. "I'm sorry. So sorry. Please forgive me."

She was begging as her finger traced the letters, engraved into the stone.

CHELSEA. Her daughter was gone.

A chilling wind rushed through the cemetery, sending icy shivers down her spine. The tears seemed to have hardened into bits of ice upon her face. She let out a long tortured sob. It was wrong... SO wrong that that she had to spend so much time at her daughter's grave. She should have Chelsea for Christmas. She wanted her daughter back.

Leaning against the headstone, Billie continued to cry. The cold didn't matter anymore. It was nothing compared to the empty, frozen space in her shattered heart. She'd stay here forever if necessary. She'd beg God to bring her little girl back.

"You don't need her, God. I do," Billie whispered fiercely. "I can't lose her. Not again."

~*~o~*~

She was putting the final touches on the Christmas tree when the doorbell rang. For days she had put off the decorating knowing her husband was in mourning. Their marriage was floundering and it was breaking her heart. He'd already suffered so much... why did he have to lose his daughter?

She pulled the door open, seeing her husband's cousin standing on the front porch. "Justin," she said in surprise. "What brings you out on this cold December night?"

"You," he said as he stepped inside the house. "I have been worried about you, Hope."

"Me? Why would you be worried about me?"

"Because I know you. You're my best friend. Ever since Chelsea died, things haven't been the same between you and Bo. It's killing you," Justin said knowingly. "I came to talk. You need to get it off your chest-."

"I don't want to talk," Hope said as she crossed her arms and turned away.

"What's going on?" Justin asked. He wouldn't back down. He wanted to help Hope through her pent-up emotions. "You need to tell me. You need to let it out."

Hope turned back to Justin, her beautiful face contorted in pain. "I've lost my husband. I've lost Bo," Hope replied.

She hated that Justin knew her so well. She couldn't conceal anything from him. He knew her moods, the good ones and the bad. He knew that their current situation was causing her great distress.

"Bo's been through loss before. He's going to be okay," Justin said gently.

"Not this time. He's- he's not the same and I can't reach him."

"Where is he now?"

"At the 'Heart, I presume, getting drunk. That's all he does anymore. He drinks too much. He seldom comes home to me and Ciara. He's hurting... he's hurting so much."

A single tear leaked from Hope's eye, wetting her cheek. Justin's gaze filled with tenderness as he drew her into his arms. "It's going to be alright," he said as he held her, caressing her hair.

"No, it won't."

In her heart, she knew it. She'd lost Bo. Their marriage was dead. It perished the minute his daughter died. They'd lost Zach. They had suffered. But this was different and she knew it. This was the kind of pain in which Bo could not recover. He was spiraling down into his doom. Who would save him? He wouldn't let it be her. Her husband had cast her aside.

Snuggling in Justin's embrace, Hope's tears dried. "Do you want me to find him?" Justin asked.

"No. I want you to stay with me. I want you to hold me," she whispered.

He brushed his lips across her forehead. "Done," he replied.

~*~o~*~

Swiftly, he was becoming drunk. He was at the Cheat'n Heart, downing a glass of whiskey. It was like fire, moving through his blood. It would seem it was the only thing keeping him warm on that December night.

*I should go home,* he thought. *To Hope and Ciara.* But he couldn't. He didn't want to get cold. It was freezing outside, but in truth, the ice was in his heart. Once it melted, he would crash. He'd have to face the truth- His daughter Chelsea was dead. She had been only eighteen years old. Far too young to go.

To drown out the pain and the cold emptiness, Bo reached for another drink, letting the liquid slide like fire down his throat. It burned, but the heat was good. It meant he was alive. His daughter was dead, but he had survived. Just barely.

"What do you think you're doing?" a gruff voice said.

Bo looked up from his glass of alcohol to see his brother-in-law, Steve Johnson. Steve was scowling as he saw Bo's condition. His family was worried about him. Lately it seemed he spent all his nights at the bar. He'd been drinking what remained of his life away.

Bo gave Steve a dirty look. It quickly faded to be replaced by a quirky smile. "Haven't you ever seen a guy have a few drinks before?"

"Hell yeah, but lately I have seen you have far too many drinks. You need to lay off the whiskey, dude. You have a wife and kid to think about."

"Why aren't you home with your wife and kid?" Bo countered.

"Because she sent me here to talk to you. Let's talk."

Bo set his glass of whiskey down on the bar. He stood up from his stool to leave, but his steps were slightly uneven. He turned away from Steve and headed out of the Cheat'n Heart.

"Where do you think you're going?" Steve asked as he followed after him.

They were standing outside in the evening's chilly air. "I am going home to Hope now," Bo said as his keys jangled in his hand.

"I won't let you drive in this condition," Steve said firmly. "Give me the keys."

Steve reached out to swipe the keys out of Bo's hand, but Bo was too fast. "Why? Because you don't want me drunk and dead, at the side of the road like my daughter?" he asked in a snarl.

The two men stared at each other and Bo realized suddenly that they had gotten down to the heart of the matter. Chelsea. Chelsea's death was the reason for Bo's drunken state.

"Yeah, that's exactly why," Steve said, letting out a heavy sigh. "We loved Chelsea; all of us did. She was young and beautiful... and she left this world far too soon. We don't want anything to happen to you."

They ended up at the dock near the Fish Market, staring out at the river. The wind brought crashing waves to the shore. As the icy air touched his face, the warmth of the booze wasn't enough to heat his tortured heart.

"I can't do this," Bo said in a pain-filled whisper. "I can't do this again."

"I am here for you, man. You have family. Everyone cares about you. We won't let you go through this alone. But you gotta talk to me. You can't keep it in. Come on. Talk to me... Tell me what it is that drives you to drink every single night."

Bo couldn't stop himself. He blurted out the words.

"It's Billie," he stated. "I can't do this. Can't see her pain. Whenever I see her, I want to get drunk... I want to drown out the pain. I can't take this anymore. We just need her back. We need Chelsea. We need our daughter."

Bo dissolved into painful sobs as his brother-in-law tried to comfort him. "I'm here to help," Steve said. "We'll get you through this. I promise."

Bo tried to believe him, but he couldn't. All he could see was Billie in his mind's eye- Billie breaking down at their daughter's grave after the burial, Billie with dark circles under her eyes, Billie with all the life gone from her expression, and Billie packing up all of Chelsea's belongings while crying her heart out. When Chelsea died, she took Billie with her. Nothing Bo ever said or did would take away Billie's pain; not even an ounce of it. He'd lost her. He'd lost Billie.

"I have to help her," Bo said to Steve. "But it's going to take something drastic."

Steve stared at Bo with a strange expression. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.

Only the wailing wind answered him back. Bo was looking out at the water with the expression of a man condemned. He knew he was going to have to take the jump. He better sober up and get ready.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"It's nothing," Bo denied. "I need to find Billie. I need to talk to her."

He left Steve staring after him as he started walking away from the riverfront. He was walking rather fast for a man who had consumed so much alcohol. "Get back here!" Steve called after him.

Bo hardly slowed down. He was headed toward the Cheat'n Heart's parking lot to get his vehicle. He was intent on seeing Billie. Steve's attempts to get him to slow down weren't working.

Steve grabbed Bo by the shoulder, whipping him back around. "Your sister is going to have my head on a platter if I don't see you safely home," he said.

"I'm not going home. I am going to find Billie."

"Alright then. I will take you to her. You don't belong behind the wheel of a car. You know that."

Bo just shrugged. Seeing Billie was the only thing on his mind. He knew he had to see her and make everything right. He had messed up so many times before when it came to Billie Reed, but he wouldn't do it all over again. He was going to do everything right... this time.

"Come on. We'll take my car," Steve said as he lead Bo over to his vehicle in the Cheat'n Heart parking lot.

A few minutes later, Steve was driving toward Billie's apartment. "You think she's home?" Steve asked Bo who was sitting in the passenger seat. He hadn't spoken a word.

"I'll call her," Bo said as he reached into the pocket of his jeans, withdrawing his cell phone.

The phone rang repeatedly, but there was no answer from Billie. Bo frowned, becoming greatly concerned. No matter what, Billie always answered his calls. Was something wrong?

"She isn't answering?" asked Steve as he continued to drive.

"No, she isn't. I guess I will call her brother; to see if he's seen her."

Bo hurriedly placed a call to Austin, Billie's older brother. "What's going on?" Austin asked as soon as he had answered the call. It wasn't often that he heard from Bo.

"Have you seen Billie?" Bo asked.

"Yeah, about three hours ago. She was going to the florist... to get some roses for Chelsea's grave," Austin stated. "Is something wrong?"

"Yeah. No. Probably not. Talk to you later," said Bo, his words slightly slurred from all the alcohol he had ingested. He was drunk... but not too drunk to be sincerely worried. It wasn't a pleasant night. It was cold and damp... and incredibly dark. Surely Billie hadn't gone to the cemetery to visit Chelsea's grave... not on a night like tonight?!

After ending the call to Austin, Bo ordered, "Take me to the cemetery and make it fast."

"The cemetery?" Steve said in disbelief. "Surely she's not...?"

Freezing rain hit the windshield as Steve turned off toward the cemetery. Why would Billie go to her daughter's grave on tonight of all nights? Grief made people do crazy things sometimes. Billie was drowning in her grief. She was missing her daughter with all her heart and soul. It was all she could think about. Bo had been drinking so much... just so he could forget. Steve knew that it was time that they both faced their demons.

A few minutes later, they pulled into the gates of the cemetery. Right away, Bo saw Billie's car. It was covered in a thin sheen of freezing rain. Obviously she had been here awhile. It was dark and he could not see Billie. Where was she?

"Let me out," Bo insisted. "Go home to Kay. I need to talk to Billie."

"I can't leave you here. Not like this-," Steve protested.

"Billie will drive me home. We'll be fine. Go home."

"Well, alright. But-." Steve sounded very reluctant.

Bo didn't say anything else. He got out of the car, shut the door, and headed off towards the gravestones. He wasn't stumbling anymore, despite all that he had drank. The cold wind along with the freezing rain had helped to sober him. He just had to get to Billie.

"Where are you?" he called out as he made his way toward Chelsea's grave.

As he neared his daughter's resting place, he came upon a familiar stone. "Hello, little man," Bo said as he looked upon the grave of his little son. He too had died too soon.

Bo knelt down at Zach's grave, bowing his head in silent prayer. "Your mom and I miss you, little guy," he said. The wind carried Bo's words away.

Hope had nearly died when they lost their little boy, but something had saved her. That something was Ciara, their baby girl- their little miracle. She gave them hope again when everything was shattered.

"I love you, Zach," Bo said as he stood up from the grave.

His children were together now, Chelsea and Zach. Chelsea had always blamed herself for the tragic accident that took Zach's life, but now they were together. Bo felt at peace as he thought of them together. Chelsea was looking out for Zach now. They were okay. He had to believe that. It was the only comfort in so much tragedy.

As he walked away from Zach's grave, he quickened his steps. It was just at the bottom of the hill. Just a few more steps...

~*~O~*~

Steve arrived home to find his beautiful wife lounging on the couch with their baby son. The little blond-headed baby boy was snuggled in his mother's loving arms. Steve grinned as he took off his coat. He hung it up, then came to Kayla's side.

"Is Bo okay?" she asked.

Steve shook his head. "Nahhh, he's really messed up."

Kayla looked upset. She nearly shot up off the couch. Only the sleeping baby made her remain still.

"Try not to worry, Sweetness. He just needs time. I think he'll be okay."

"You think?" Kayla didn't look a bit convinced.

Steve knelt down at the side of the couch, absorbing Kayla's warmth. Very gently, he stroked the baby's hair. "He's lost a child. We both know how painful that can be. He needs time... to recover."

Their gazes locked as they thought of their son- the infant they had lost. He had been born far too soon. He had died shortly after his birth. Losing their little Joseph had broken their hearts, but a few months later, they were given a miracle when they adopted Benji, their tiny, deaf son. Now they had Stephanie and Benjamin and they felt their family was complete. But times like these, they remembered him, their precious Joseph.

"He had the bluest eyes," Kayla said in a little whisper.

"Your eyes," Steve said as he ran a thumb across her cheek. Lovingly, he wiped her tear away.

"I hope that Bo will be alright," she said in an aching voice.

"I love you so much," he said as he leaned forward and kissed her. Tenderly, he kissed Benji, too.

"Try not to worry, Kayla. Your brother has been through a lot. One thing about you Brady's; you always survive."

"That we do," she whispered. She wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in close as the baby stirred. "Ben and I love you so much."

"Let's get the little dude to bed. It's cold out there... and I want to snuggle to get warm."

"Are your toes cold?" she teased him.

"That and other parts," he told her with a sexy smirk.

"Wouldn't want you to get frost bite. Let's go."

Steve lifted her up in his arms. Baby and all.

~*~O~*~

She was lying on their daughter's grave, her face pressed against the cold stone, her tears now frozen upon her cheek. "Billie," he said as he reached for her, taking her into his arms.

The roses had been crushed beneath her. The thorns had torn into her skin. She was bleeding... and so cold.

Her face was so pale; at first he thought she was dead. But then her eyes opened. She looked up at him as if she had just awakened from a deep sleep.

"What are you doing here, Bo?" she asked.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" he said, as he enveloped her in his black leather jacket, trying to get her warm

"I was here to see Chelsea. I brought her some roses. I must have... cried myself to sleep." Her voice was full of sadness as it tore from her icy lips with incredible pain.

"You can't stay out here. It's far too cold."

"You smell like whiskey. You've been drinking again."

"We need to talk about that. We need to talk about a lot of things."

"I don't feel like talking."

"You don't have a choice," he said gruffly.

He stood up, carefully helping her to her feet. "Come on," he said.

"I can't leave Chelsea. I can't. It's snowing... and she's cold." Billie's voice broke and Bo's heart was ripped upon it's seams.

He watched as snowflakes gathered in Billie's eyelashes. She looked beautiful and tragic in that moment... so incredibly beautiful. He knew what he had to do.

He pulled her to him and he kissed her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

At first she kissed him back. She got lost in his kiss and she sipped at his skin as if she was dying of thirst - as if he was the sweetest drop of water she had ever tasted. After a moment though, the reality of it struck her. Bo was kissing her! He was back in her arms...

She pushed him away as she slapped him HARD upon the chest. "What do you think you're doing?!" she demanded. "Bo! You're married! Just how drunk are you?!"

He nearly lost his balance, but he was holding her up. "Billie," he spoke. She was pissed. Incredibly angry. She looked more alive than he had seen her in weeks. The kiss had worked!

"I was doing what I have to do... what I had to do to save you," he said.

"Save me from what?"

"Yourself," he replied. "Look at you... lying in the snow on our daughter's grave...' he said, pain in his voice. "We lost our daughter... and that is awful. It's been hell. But you... you can't die, too."

"Why can't I?!" she exclaimed. "What do I have to live for?"

They stood staring at each other in the cemetery, in the falling snow, and she was challenging him to answer. What DID she have to live for? She needed to know.

"Billie," he said, his voice chastising.

"You tell me, Bo. You have Hope... Ciara... AND Sean Douglas. What do I have?" she asked as the tears began to flow, covering her cheeks. "All I had was Chelsea, our precious daughter... a part of you. And now she's gone. Our daughter is gone."

She was crying so hard that she nearly collapsed. Bo clutched her tighter, catching her in his arms. "It's too cold out here. Let me walk you to the car," he said.

She protested, but he insisted. He held onto her tightly, leading her away from Chelsea's grave. He didn't feel as drunk now, just slightly unsteady. He was able to help Billie to her car. After they got inside, they both breathed in a sigh of relief. They were out of the cold. The wind had been fierce. The temperature continued to drop. He hoped they would make it home safely in this wintry mess.

"Billie, you need to talk to me," Bo said as she sat behind the wheel.

"What is there to say, Bo?" she asked as she stared blankly at the windshield.

"What you said a minute ago... that you have nothing to live for. That isn't true."

"Yes, it is. I lost her. My only child. How would you feel?"

"I did lose a child... before Chelsea. I lost Zach."

"And how did you go on... how did Hope- go on?"

"We couldn't at first. But then, in time... we found a way."

"How?"

He looked at her. He went suddenly silent. He couldn't find the words.

"How did you and Hope go on after you lost Zach?"

"We suffered greatly; we nearly lost each other... but after some time had passed, we had Ciara," Bo replied. "She brightened our days again. She gave us something wonderful to live for."

She stared at him as her eyes got suddenly huge. "Are you saying I should have another child, Bo? Are you saying that is what I need to survive?"

~*~o~*~

Hope stood at the window as she sipped on a mug of hot chocolate. "I hope he's okay out there,' she said as mix of sleet and snow was leaving icy prints upon the window pane.

Justin stood close to her, holding his own mug of the steaming liquid. "I'm sure he's fine," he said. "But if you like, I could go and look for him."

"I don't think that's necessary. I know where he is. He's making an ass of himself, getting drunk again."

"He has been making a habit of that lately and that isn't fair to you and Ciara."

"He's hurting so much, Justin. I have tried, but I just can't reach him."

She turned toward her dearest friend, staring into his warm brown eyes... so much like her husband's eyes, but warmer. They were filled with so much tenderness and compassion. "Ohhh Justin," she said as she went into his arms. "Bo and I have already been through so much. We lost Zach... and if it weren't for Ciara..."

And as if on cue, a little voice said, "Mommy, I can't sleep."

Justin and Hope broke out of their embrace. They turned toward the staircase, seeing little Ciara upon the bottom step. "Where's daddy?" the little girl asked.

Hope went to her daughter, enfolding her into her embrace. "Ciara ~ honey, why are you up?" she asked. "It's way past your bedtime."

"I had a bad dream," Ciara said sadly. "About Daddy."

"Ohhh honey, it was just a dream,' said Hope as she tried to soothe the child.

"Daddy left us. He doesn't love us anymore," Ciara said in a whimper.

Hope gaze shot to Justin, who was looking at Ciara with so much concern. She didn't know what to say or how to comfort her daughter. Bo should be here. Where in the hell was he?

"Ciara," said Justin as he knelt down at the edge of the staircase where Hope held Ciara in her arms. "Your daddy loves you. He's just going through a tough time right now. Everything will be alright."

"Daddy loved Chelsea more," Ciara said. "He cries for her all the time. He didn't love me... not like he loved Chelsea.'

Hope's heart shattered when she heard Ciara's words. "Ohhh Ciara, your daddy loves you. He loved both you and Chelsea. He doesn't love one of you more," Hope stated.

"Then why isn't he here?" she asked. "Daddy's never here. Why did my daddy leave me?"

~*~o~*~

Bo replied, "No, I am not saying you should run right out and get pregnant..."

"Good, because I am not dating anyone... and it isn't easy for me to get pregnant anyway," Billie reminded. "You know how it was... how I almost lost Chelsea. She nearly died. I don't think I can go through that all again."

"Alright... then maybe sometime in the future, you could adopt a child."

"No," she said adamantly. "I am not adopting.'

"Why not?"

"I don't want to be a single mom."

"Okay, so in the future, you'll meet someone..."

"No."

"Billie..."

"No, Bo. It's not going to happen. I am not going to meet someone... and I am not going to adopt. I am not going to have another child."

"Why not?" he asked.

"Because it wouldn't be yours."

A moment passed as they looked at each other across the seats. Bo waited for her to finish her statement.

"If I ever have another child," she continued. "I would want it to be yours."

Bo couldn't speak. For a moment, he was entirely speechless.

"And since you're married... since you have Hope, that isn't happening. I won't come between you. You need to go back home to your wife."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

"You need to go back home to your wife," Billie repeated. "You've been gone for hours, I'm sure. She's probably worried about you. Ciara might be worried, too."

"Ciara should be in bed," Bo said softly. "Billie, you can take me home now, but we aren't through talking about this. Not by a long shot."

"What is left to say, Bo? I mean... _really_? You have a family - a wife, kids. All I had was our daughter. I guess I should just concentrate on my career, but I _miss_ her. I miss her sooooo much. Life isn't the same without her. Maybe I should get a cat... or take in a stray dog."

With those words, Billie started the car. At first the engine coughed as if it didn't want to start. Maybe it was too cold? But then after it sputtered a little, it began to purr. Billie sighed with relief. It was far too cold to spend the night in the cemetery. Bo was right. She had to make some sense of her life; create some sort of purpose. Sadly, she didn't have Chelsea anymore... and her youth was fading. What was left for her for the remainder of her life?

"I want to help you," Bo said as Billie carefully drove out of the icy cemetery. The roads were just awful; terrible really. A thick layer of sleet had covered the surface of the concrete. The snow plows weren't out yet, so Billie would have to drive cautiously as she drove toward Bo's home.

She was going about 15 miles per hour. There were no other cars out on the road. It was late and the roads were totally unsafe. She could only hope they both made it back to the safety of their homes, before driving off into a ditch.

"What can you do?" Billie asked. She hardly glanced at him as she spoke. She had to keep her eyes on the road and any potential hazards ahead. The windshield wipers were working overtime as the heavy sleet continued to fall. It really was a sucky night. It added to Billie's melancholy. She wasn't as concerned about herself. She had no spouse and kids to get home to, but Bo did. She had to get him back home to Hope and his little girl.

"I have ideas..." Bo said as he let out a huge, heavy sigh. "But we shouldn't talk about it now. It's late. And the roads are hellish. We both need to get home, where it's safe."

"You're right," she agreed. She didn't feel like arguing or proving her point anyway. There was nothing Bo could say to make it better. He couldn't bring Chelsea back. Her daughter, her sweet girl, was gone and life as she knew it would never be the same.

"I'll drop by to see you tomorrow," Bo said. "I promise."

"How will Hope feel about that?"

"We'll talk about it that, too- tomorrow."

She nodded, her eyes still on the road. At this rate, it was going to take them a half hour to get to Bo's... if they even made it there at all.

As they were driving, they hit a slick patch of ice. The car started to skid. They came so close to going into a ditch before Billie finally gained control of the vehicle. After losing their daughter recently in a terrible car accident, it scared them so much that Billie had no other choice but to pull over at the side of the road.

"I don't think I can keep driving, Bo. I am sorry," Billie said. "This is all my fault. If I hadn't been out in the cemetery..."

"Don't blame yourself," Bo said gently. "Let's just leave the car here... until morning. We aren't far from the Salem Motel..."

She looked at him in shock. "The Salem Motel? That awful place? We may as well stay in the car."

"That isn't safe. The visibility is terrible, with the falling snow. The snow plow could come along and..."

His voice trailed off as awful visions of a horrible death played out in both their minds. "Okay, we'll walk to the motel then..." Billie replied. "Then you should call your wife... immediately."

"Yeah,' Bo said absently as he stepped out of the car and into the snowy weather. Billie followed, climbing over the seat, as she did not want to exit on the driver's side of the car.

They were standing on the side of the road, looking toward the direction of the Salem Motel. They could hardly see any buildings ahead, besides a flashing neon sign which read: Vacancy. "Well, at least they have a vacancy," Bo said as he wrapped his coat tighter around himself. "It shouldn't take too long to walk there. Careful of the ice. Try not to slip."

She reached out for his gloved hand for a sense of security. "If I trip, you're going down with me. You're the drunk one."

Bo laughed. "I'm totally sober now. I didn't drink that much.'

"Sure... sure," Billie said as she didn't believe it. Bo had been getting bold-faced drunk nearly every night now. She wasn't sure how Hope was putting up with him and all his drinking.

"I feel perfect," Bo said. "Just cold."

The wind was harsh as they continued walking toward the flashing neon light. "We'll be there soon," he said, his breath an icy puff as it came from his lips. "I'm freezing."

"I will never be warm again,' Billie exclaimed. "I don't care if that motel has roaches and pubic hairs on all the bed sheets! I just want to be warm again."

Bo laughed loudly, hearing Billie's words. "Everything will be fine, Billie. I promise," he said as he lightly squeezed her hand. His touch was the only warmth she had encountered in ages.

~*~o~*~

"Justin, I don't want you going out in the cold," Hope said after they had finally comforted little Ciara and gotten her back to sleep in her room. "It's freezing outside and the roads are awful. I think you should stay the night."

They had seated themselves in front of the fireplace. Justin couldn't hold back a yawn. They were both worried about Bo. He had been out for hours. They both knew that the Cheat'n Heart had closed for hours.

"What about Bo?" Justin asked.

"He's probably with Billie," Hope said softly as sadness vibrated within her voice.

"You think...?"

"Where else could he be?" she asked. "I hate to think about it - Bo out there in the cold... God, he better be okay."

Justin wrapped his arms around her as tears filled up her dark eyes. "He should have called. He should have had the decency to call... and tell you where he is..."

"He should have, but he didn't."

"I will sleep in the couch," Justin offered.

"I don't think I can sleep," Hope said sadly.

"Then let's just stay here. In front of the fire. Right beside the phone in case Bo should call."

Hope reached for a throw off the back of the couch. She stretched out on a rug in front of the fire with Justin, her husband's cousin and her best friend. "With you here, maybe I can get some sleep."

Justin cradled Hope's dark head against his arm. Lightly, he caressed her hair. "Try to get some sleep," he said in a whisper. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stay awake. It had been such a long night.

Hope and Justin eventually drifted off in front of the soothing flames...

~*~o~*~

Billie and Bo finally arrived at the Salem Motel. As they walked into the office, they were met by a puff of warm, inviting air. They were shivering as they looked at the elderly man behind the desk. "Would you two young folks like a room for the night?" he asked.

"Two please,' Bo stated.

"Well, we only got one room left. It's been a busy night."

"We'll take it," Billie said quickly. She reached for some cash from her purse, but Bo was quicker. He pulled out his wallet and paid with a credit card.

"Have a good night, Mr. and Mrs. Brady," said the old man with a smile. "Glad you made it in from the cold."

Billie looked dazed as she heard the older man's words. Mr. and Mrs. Brady? She could only **wish**. Feeling envious of Hope with all her heart, Billie followed Bo down the hall to their motel room.

They entered their room to find a small bed, some blankets, and a bedside phone. Bo picked up the receiver to call his wife. He had to let Hope know immediately where he was and that he would be safe. She was probably worried sick.

"Damn," he growled as he hung up the phone.

"What is it?" Billie asked.

"No dial tone. The phone lines must be down... due to the ice."

They were both staring at the small bed with all those thick, inviting blankets. Both shivered.

"Bo, we better get out of these wet clothes," Billie said, her voice cautious.

"We should,' Bo agreed.

"Okay," Billie said. "You can use the bathroom first."

"What will we wear?"

"Uhhh... we can wrap up in the sheets,' Billie suggested. "Then we'll hang up our clothes to dry."

"Alright. Okay. That'll work. We can't ... freeze."

Bo looked very worried. He wasn't so keen on any of this... The small bed and being practically naked with Billie. What if...?

"Bo, what are you waiting for?" Billie asked, her teeth chattering. She was soaked clear through, down to her underwear.

"Okay... okay... I will go into the bathroom... and I will get naked." As he spoke, he headed toward the bathroom door.

Billie's eyes widened.

Bo... getting naked? All _alone_ in a motel room?

Her eyes returned to the tiny bed... and that mountain of warm covers. "GET YOUR MIND OFF SEX, BILLIE HOLLIDAY REED!" she warned herself... but it wasn't easy. She hadn't had sex in months... and this was Bo!

She suddenly felt more alive than ever! Would Bo hold her... cuddle her? Would he kiss her again... as he had at Chelsea's grave?

"We are in so much trouble," she mumbled.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

When Hope awakened in the middle of the night, she was snuggled in Justin's strong arms in front of the fireplace. The embers were dwindling into tiny orange kernels. She looked at the man holding her, slightly tensing in his embrace. It all came flooding back - Bo staying out all night and Justin remaining to comfort her. She was angry. Why did Bo desert her now? She still needed him, too!

Justin awoke as he felt Hope stirring. "Hope, are you alright?" he murmured.

"Yes, Justin... just thoroughly pissed. I realize now, what I had with Bo is over. His heart is with Billie... although he won't admit it to himself."

Looking at her as she lay upon the thick rug, curled up in his arms, Justin was sympathetic. "I am so sorry, Hope. It isn't fair; it isn't at all... and if you were mine, I would never leave you. I never would... not ever."

She hugged him suddenly so tight. "I love you, Justin Kiriakis," she said. "Not only are my my dearest friend, but you have been my savior. You mean so much to me."

"You mean so much to me, too, Hope," he said as he returned her hug. "But there is something you need to know... something we need to talk about ...'

"What is it, Justin?" she asked.

"I love you, too,' Justin confessed. "But not just as a friend. You see, if you weren't married to my cousin, I think we'd be more than friends. I feel it in my heart."

Looking into her eyes, he placed his hand over the thumping in his chest. "I know you feel it, too. You can't deny it anymore. I feel it every time I look at you. Every time I touch you. Why do you think I am always here... coming to your rescue... picking up the pieces when Bo hurts you? It's because I _love_ you... and I can't bear to see you hurt. I want you to be happy, Hope... and I wish- I wish I was the one who could make you happy and bring that smile back to your face."

Staring at him, Hope looked completely shocked... but as it sunk in, her expression of surprise gradually faded. "I guess I knew it all along," she said softly. "And I could see it when you looked at me... and when you touched me. I've always felt so safe with you."

A half smile curled Justin's lips. "Hope, I know you love Bo - you've had three children with him, but how do you feel about me? I mean, how do you _really_ feel? If my cousin wasn't in the picture, do you ever think you would have a chance with me?" Justin asked.

~*~o~*~

Bo stepped out of the bathroom, wearing just a thin white sheet around his muscular hips. Billie swallowed hard. She brushed passed him, eager to get into the bathroom and change out of her snow-covered clothing. She was still shivering. "So cold," she murmured as she did her best to avoid looking at Bo's impressive body. Ohhhh God, if anything, that was what she needed to heat her back up again. But she couldn't! Bo was married! How in the hell would this ever work?

Hurriedly, in the bathroom, Billie stripped out of her clothing which had become sodden from melted snow. She hung the items up on the shower rack with Bo's garments, still shivering as she wrapped up in the barely existent white bed sheet which was thread bare from years of being laundered. "I'll never be warm again," she muttered as she stepped from the bathroom.

Hearing her words, Bo said, "Maybe we should have taken a hot shower first."

"Too late now. All I care about are those warm blankets," said Billie.

But Bo was already under the warm blankets, snuggled up, trying to keep warm. Billie had no other choice but to join him or to freeze. The blankets and his warmth were so inviting... so tempting... so why was she hesitating so much? Billie KNEW that once she was naked, under the covers with Bo, that they wouldn't be able to stop themselves. After all these years, they still had strong feelings and desires for each other. She was being drawn to Bo and she could not stop herself, as much as she tried, with every ounce of her willpower.

"Bo..." she said softly as she took one step closer.

"Billie, you'll freeze." He reached out for her and that's all it took. She crawled into bed with him - into the pile of soft, warm blankets and Bo's arms and for once, she was content.

"Bo," she said as she wrapped her arms around him.

Gazing into her luscious dark eyes, Bo pulled her closer. The sheets between them were as non-existent. She could feel every part of his spectacular body. *Ohhhh hell,* she was thinking. Not being able to act upon the burning lust that was bombarding her from his flaming touch had become absolute torture.

"Billie, we need to talk..."

~*~o~*~

Hope didn't answer for a second, just gazing deeply into Justin's eyes as she watched the embers glowing in those fathomless dark-brown depths. "I would have to be lying if I said I haven't thought about us," she admitted. "I mean, it just feels so right when you hold me. You always know what to say... what to do to make things better. You're a wonderful man, Justin Kiriakis ."

"Hope, could you love me, too?" he asked with great hope within his heart.

"Yes, Justin," she replied. "I already do. Do you think it's possible... for me to be in love with two men at once? I still love Bo; he's the father of my kids, but I love you... and ..."

Her words trailed off. It was all so complicated. "Lately Bo hasn't been here for me... or for Ciara. His heart is no longer with us. Part of him died when Chelsea died. Then there's Billie. He still loves her. I have been a fool to think otherwise. If he loved me... if he _truly_ loved me, he'd be home with me."

"Yes, he would," Justin agreed. He knew in his heart, if Hope was his, he'd never leave her side. Not even for a second.

"What should I do, Justin? _What should I do_?" Hope asked in torment.

"You should do what your heart wants you to do," he said softly.

So without further hesitation, Hope's lips met Justin's in a soft, exploratory kiss. He groaned softly, tasting her sweetness for the first time ever. In a matter of mere seconds, their kiss had turned to one of incredible passion. There before the fireplace, they embraced as their tongues collided. As the fire in the hearth was dying, the one in their hearts and souls had become a burning inferno.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Billie, we need to talk," she heard Bo say.

"What do we have to talk about?" she asked quietly as he held her in the circle of his arms, their near-naked bodies touching in the almost darkness.

Billie had forgotten all about the cold. Bo's warmth and the sensation of his skin was healing. She felt toasty warm with him under the covers. His touch was healing in other ways as well. Her heart felt much less frozen now that he was holding her. This was what she had needed all along; Bo's comforting touch.

"Let's talk about Chelsea..." he said. "And let's talk about us."

"Bo, there is no Chelsea, not anymore. And there is no us. It's just you, your wife, and your kids."

"No," he replied softly. "You're wrong."

"Our daughter..." he insisted. "...She will never be gone. She'll always be a part of us, because we loved her... and we miss her. She's our daughter forever, even if she's in Heaven. She's happy there. She's safe with Zach... and she'd want her parents to be happy, too. Both you and me."

"Ohhh Bo, you have no idea what would make me happy," Billie said as a painful expression overtook her lovely face. "I had everything I wanted... once."

"I know. Then Hope came back into the picture. My wife returned... and everything changed."

"But then we got Chelsea back, our little Georgia. When my little girl was back in my arms, it didn't hurt as much that I lost you to Hope, because I still had a part of you in our daughter."

"I'm so thankful that we found her again... that she really didn't die. She was a part of both of us. The best part."

"Yes, the best part," Billie agreed tearfully.

Very softly, Bo began to kiss her tears away. This time, when she felt his lips against her flesh, Billie didn't protest. She needed him... his touch and his gentle comfort. She needed his tenderness to heal the hurt that had formed such a deep wound inside of her.

After he had drank away every salty tear, Bo looked deeply into Billie's eyes. "You're wrong about something else," he spoke. "There is an us. There is definitely an us."

She shook her head. "You're a married man... with children."

"But a part of my heart, no matter what, has always belonged to you. Billie Reed. From the moment I met you, we had something incredible between us, and although I returned to Hope, those feelings didn't die... and they will never will."

"What are you saying?"

"Hope and I are growing apart. All we have right now that is holding us together is our little daughter Ciara. In the past, when Sean D. was younger, I thought I was doing the right thing, going back to my wife, the mother of my child. Then Chelsea came back into _our_ lives... and I was torn. You and I had a child, too... but by then, Hope had given birth to Zach. As much as I wanted to be with you, Billie, I couldn't leave Hope, not after we had lost our little boy."

He let out a groan. "This is all so complicated. But I know one thing, I can't go back to Hope. I can't. I want to be with you."

"You don't mean it," she said in a sob. "You're drunk. You're just afraid I might off myself... because I've been so distraught over the loss of Chelsea."

He shook his head as his fingertip lightly traced Billie's trembling lower lip. "I am completely sober now. The alcohol I consumed earlier has worn off. Finding you on our daughter's gravesite did that... along with the bitter cold. It sobered me up... and you have to believe what I am telling you. I can't stay with Hope any longer... not when I want to be with you."

"Bo, I -," Billie began to protest, but he cut off her words with a tender kiss. In seconds, that soft, exploratory kiss had turned to one of passion. As he pulled the sheet away from her lovely body, his fingers sought out her sweet flesh. How he wanted to be one with her again. It had been far too long and he _needed_ her. He not only wanted to be the comforter... he too needed comfort. He needed to be in the arms of the woman who had given him a beautiful child - a child they were both missing with all their hearts and souls.

"Bo, are you sure?" she murmured as he tossed his own sheet aside, baring his gorgeous, naked body. There was no denying his arousal or how much he wanted her. There was no denying he was completely serious that he was choosing her this time.

He nodded as he tugged her close, their bodies coming together as he resumed the passionate kisses. All thoughts faded as desire took over, hot and intense. It was going to be a wild and warm night after all, despite the snow and the wicked wind right outside their motel room.

~*~o~*~

Hope was in a state of shock as she lay in front of the fire on the thick rug, Justin's virile body lying atop her. What had just happened? *Ohhh God, Justin and I just made love! I had sex with my husband's cousin!* she was thinking.

"Hope, are you alright?" Justin asked as he tenderly stroked her cheek.

She shook her head, trying to clear it of her intense thoughts. "Justin, I can't believe I just cheated... I cheated on Bo," she said. "I mean... he was gone all the time, drinking heavily and staying out to all hours of the night. He was never there for me or our daughter, but he was grieving... and I- I can't believe what we did- what just happened."

Justin gently disengaged his body from Hope's. He lay down beside her, gazing loving into her haunted dark eyes. "Hope, I love you. What just happened ... I don't regret it. Bo - he's not been a husband to you in ages. Your marriage is in name only. You said so yourself, just before we..."

"Before we made love," she finished for him.

"Yes. We made love." He gave her a little smile and tenderly kissed her lips. "We'll work all this out in the morning. We need to get some sleep."

"Okay," she agreed. "But we should both get some clothes on. If Ciara comes downstairs..."

"Alright," he said as he reached for their clothing. "But I am not letting you out my arms. Not tonight... not ever again."

"Do you mean that?" she asked as she was tugging her shirt over her head.

He nodded. "If Bo thinks he's coming back for you, he's got a fight on his hands," Justin said. "Because we belong together."

"Ohhh Justin. I love you; I truly do... but..."

"It's late and you're exhausted. We both need some sleep," Justin said as he finished getting dressed.

After Hope had managed to tug on her clothing, he welcomed her back into his arms. "We'll work it all out in the morning," he promised as she lay her head against his chest, taking in the sound of his steady heartbeat.

He was here. Justin was holding her... which was far more than she could say for Bo. Where WAS he?

*Probably with Billie,* a voice spoke within her head. *My husband is probably having sex with Billie Reed.*

~*~o~*~

After the loving, Billie lay tangled in Bo's embrace. "What have we just done?" she quietly whispered.

"Hopefully, just now, we made a baby."

"A baby?" she said in a little squeaky gasp.

"Don't you want a baby?" he asked with a throaty chuckle.

"I don't know. I never really thought about it... after all the trouble I had giving birth to Chelsea."

Bo kissed the top of her head, soothing her. "We need to get some sleep. We'll talk about all this in the morning."

"What about your wife?" Billie asked.

"What about her? I am not going back to Hope... Not after what we just shared."

She wanted to believe him, but she was frightened. What if he woke up and he changed his mind? After all, she had lost him before...

"I am sleepy," she said as she curled up against him.

"I love you, Billie Reed," he murmured as she drifted off in the tender warmth of his muscular arms.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven  
**

When Billie awoke in the morning, she was cuddled in the strength of Bo's arms. Her head was resting on his chest, just above his heartbeat. When she remembered the night before, she was filled with fear. What if Bo regretted what they had shared? What if he changed his mind and went back to Hope after all?

Not knowing what the future held, she cherished every second that remained that she could be in Bo's embrace. She knew she couldn't bear it if she lost him now; she had already lost her darling Chelsea.

She lay very still, just listening to the sound of Bo's steady heartbeat, hoping he wouldn't awake and tell her he was sorry; that he'd made another mistake. *Please, God, I need him so much,* she silently prayed. *Please let him stay with _me._ *

Minutes passed and then Bo began to stir. Bright sunlight was streaming through the windows of the motel room, stinging at his and Billie's eyes. "Billie?" he said as he came awake, his arms wrapping around her so tightly.

"Bo?" she said in response. She raised her head from his chest as their gazes met. "Bo, please tell me that you don't regret last night. Everything we shared... and everything we said. Please tell me that we have a future... and you're not going back to Hope."

As she waited for his response, every muscle in her body tensed up in agitation.

Xxxoooxxxooo

Justin awakened to the scent of fresh coffee. His stomach grumbled as he got up off the floor in his crumpled clothing and headed toward the kitchen. Hope had awakened about a half hour before him. She had breakfast cooking for Justin and Ciara.

"Hey," she said as Justin entered the kitchen. She barely looked at him as she went back to turning the slices of bacon in the skillet.

He came up behind her and said, "Hope, look at me please."

She turned around slowly as she looked into this compassionate eyes. "Are you alright?" he asked with tenderness.

She nodded but he didn't miss the misting of tears in her eyes. "Hope, about last night..." Justin said softly.

"I shouldn't have cheated on my husband," she said. "I shouldn't have..."

Tears overtook her as she went into Justin's arms. He held and comforted her as she cried.

"I'm sorry I made things more complicated for you, Hope. I honestly didn't think..."

"No, Justin. I know that my marriage with Bo is over; that's not the issue. I just should have waited until I had asked Bo for a divorce."

As Justin held Hope close, they heard a little voice speaking directly behind them. They had no idea that Ciara had walked into the kitchen.

"Mommy, are you and Daddy gonna get a divorce?" asked the little girl.

Xxxoooxxxooo

"Billie, I meant what I said last night. I want to be with you," Bo said. "What I had with Hope; it's over. I need to go home and pack some of my things... and tell her. She deserves to hear it from me... and not over the phone or in a text. We have a child together, so I have to make provisions for Ciara. She's going to be confused, but the tension between me and Hope hasn't been good for her either."

"Bo, you're going to come live with me?" asked Billie in surprise.

"Well, I would love to ... if you don't mind."

"No.. no. I don't mind. I just don't believe it. Not really."

"I am going to prove it to you, Lady. I love you so much," he said as he tenderly kissed her.

"I love you, too," she said as she stared into his eyes. "But I just won't believe it... not until you walk through that door."

Bo gently disengaged himself from Billie's embrace. "You gotta take me to get my car. And I promise you, after I talk to Hope, I'll be over."

"Okay," Billie said softly. "I guess we better get dressed then."

Xxxoooxxxooo

Hope's heart contracted with pain when she heard little Ciara's question. She left Justin's embrace and went to her daughter. "Honey, we need to have a little talk..." she said as she sat Ciara down on the kitchen counter. Once she was at eye level with her little girl, Hope did her best to explain to Ciara what was going on with her and Bo.

Justin turned his back and concentrated on the frying bacon so that Hope could talk to Ciara. "Your daddy and I haven't been getting along so well. In fact, we have really grown apart. We both love you so much, Ciara. and this is breaking my heart," Hope said with tears in her eyes.

"Mommy, I just want to know, are you and Daddy getting a divorce?"

"I think so. I haven't talked to him yet, but I don't think that we can go on like this any longer. Your daddy isn't happy and neither am I."

"But I want to live with you AND Daddy," said Ciara.

"I know you do, sweetie, but sometimes parents can't live together. Sometimes they go their separate ways. You'll still see both of us all the time; we just won't live together... not anymore."

"Why, Mommy? Is it because of Chelsea - cuz she died?"

"It's because of a lot of things," she said gently. "But the important thing for you to remember is that it has nothing to do with **you**. Your dad and I love you SO much... and we both want you to be happy."

A tears slid down Ciara's little cheek as Hope's heart broke anew. She held her sad little daughter as Justin finished preparing their breakfast.

Xxxoooxxxooo

Billie drove Bo to the cemetery so he could get his car. He reached between the seats between them to give her hand a gentle squeeze. "I'll see you later," he said.

"Yeah, right... Later," she said as she couldn't even bear to look into his eyes. She was fairly certain that once he talked to Hope, he would decide he needed to stay with his wife and child. She couldn't even blame him. How she wished she could have that as well - a spouse and a child. But in the cemetery not that far away, her only child lay six feet under.

"Billie," he said as he tried to get her attention. She was staring off into space at the tombstones in the near distance. "Go home, okay? Don't go back to Chelsea's grave. She isn't there anymore. Our daughter is in Heaven. That's where she is... and she's safe. And I know she wants us to go on now... and be happy."

When she didn't respond, he spoke to her more sternly, "Billie, you need to go home now. Okay?"

She nodded as she let go of his hand. "Alright," she said softly. 


End file.
